Notes to Self ('20 -'21), by Jordan/Martin Hell

Notes to Self ('20 -'21)

by Jordan/Martin Hell

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1.	Baby 01:18	lyrics	buy track
You want a baby. I don't want a baby. I don't wanna dance around or care or always be there. O, no . . .
2.	Hand 01:54	info	buy track
3.	Animal Instinct (The Cranberries cover) 03:03		buy track
4.	Love & Effort 03:44	lyrics	buy track
Love & effort. Love is effort. I stood at your window I walked to the door. The girl who was out there's not there anymore. Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies. Now her smile is faded & so has mine. Now, our smiles are faded. & any man can think they see a girl inside of you or me & all of them are waiting at an alter of their own. For love & effort when love is effort. If I must come clean I'll will this mountain into ash & every woman that I pass will know my love is everlasting.
5.	Action Man 05:28	info	buy track
6.	The Piano Teacher 01:27	lyrics	buy track
The moment I wake up I know it will all be fine. I'll stand before you, sign on every dotted line. & it's easy to appear but, maybe it's not clear at all. They all see what they want to see & they strangely feel so mercilessly. The heart is like a gun, you know? You know.
7.	Shame 04:56	lyrics	buy track
Don't tell me what's your name 'cause I won't play your game. 'Cause every time I do I end up stuck with you. Shame. You can't, you won't, you don't. You will, you might, you choke. You say you'll stay away. Ok. O, come what may. O, Shame. O, Don't tell me your name. O, Go from where you came.
8.	P. Farmer-- Geni Wiley 02:00	lyrics	buy track
I take your picture, it gets distorted. I don't know what those moments mean. From Sarajevo to this pharmacy I guess I never wanted to leave & all that's your hair. It's all down your back. All that you wear & all that you lack. It goes under like retracing footsteps, gesticulating. It's too complicated. Faith meditates, it's just a sound it makes to feel alive & slowly in her eyes you find it hard to feel alive so you keep taking action one day at a time & now your faking laughing & taking steps back.
9.	Speaking With The Angel (Ron Sexsmith cover) 03:08		buy track
10.	Trouble 04:00	lyrics	buy track
I never wanted trouble, just wanted to come back. O, be here with me. Feel this feeling. What do you call that? She's like a horse in a stable. If he is willing then she's able. Watch as the man disappears. He was here, now he's gone. Can you watch as he falls? He's real. So surreal. & all is real. She's got the boy on the ropes, teaching his backhand how to stroke. Make one wrong move & you're here & you face & defend 'til you're raw when it ends & you're real & all is real.
11.	The Last Living Rose (PJ Harvey cover) 01:54		buy track
12.	I Tried 02:12	lyrics	buy track
I tried to keep you. Affairs are rarely what they seem. They leave you to seethe & feel that all your life. O, Time. Talkin' 'bout do do da do. The lies you tell here don't leave this portrait. They make the picture distort & arrange. I'll tell you right now. Waves are shallow. The sea is really just a lake that sees you. You fall & think it's just a shower. I'll tell you right now & maybe in time you'll see what you really mean to me.
13.	Kids (Bonus) 02:38	lyrics	buy track
I tried to listen but, not to talk. I tried to stand but, not to walk. Open eyes & capsize, how we go wide. If you don't, then you can't. Then don't go outside. I won't endure you so don't be there. Don't just ignore me. Don't stop & stare. How to live, how to care, how to go . . . where? When you love it's so real that it's unfair. Something I've know, something I've seen wants to haunt me & dare me right now to disagree. With eyes closed, I believe. I can believe. I can't believe. But, sun's up & we're just kids & I don't own a child. What you want ain't what you get, on & on & the radio keeps playin' hits. Please don't turn the dial. Don't know if you exist? Well, walk a mile just fielding offers for more. Ha!

about

Most of these are just guitar songs from my voice notes that I don't know how to play any more. '20 - '21 has been crazy but, these notes to self saved me.

Still trying to navigate crazy visa madness here in Germany so feel free to give what you can & pass it along. Take care out there, y'all.

Love,
J/MH
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